Thursday, February 21, 2008
An email i received frm farah&(kamiya) recently:
<starting of email>subject:P/S: Please don't take this to heart, don't let your emotions take over you.Dear Wadiah, We, as in Kamiyah & I felt that you've been acting kind of funny towards us.
Whenever you see us last time, you would run up to us and hug us and scream our names.
But ever since, last week (?). You didn't.
Okay, I know it's not really a matter to bring up. But I feel I must.
Well, I know you have your own friends.
And I know that's normal to hang out with them since they are your classmates and all.
But however, during band or whenever we see you, it's just smiling and then we walk pass each other.
I only smile and walk away to/from people like Jamie or Haoxue.
It's weird doing the 'hi and bye' thing to you.
I miss the old you, but of course I know people change.
I miss the smiling and cheerful Wadiah but of course
you should not keep your problems to yourself.
Again, not trying to tell you anything negative or how you should act.
We just love you.
We miss you. This year is our last year, we don't want to break away.
Don't want to let our relationship go into a distance.
I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything.
I'm not trying to say it's your fault.
I'm seriously just expressing what I have been holding on since last week.
After this letter, don't feel so different towards us.
Well, maybe I haven't told Kamiyah about this letter. (oopsy, haha)
We love you, dear (:
<
end of email>
My dearest FARAH&KAMIYA...
dat email...
ugh...sadness~
kk, i'm near to tears now when i'm writing dis post.Okay...here's wat i reali wanna say ok to de both of u,
Did i reali chg dat much?
Reading dat email by u two reali opened my eyes..
I'm realli sorry for wat happened, dat i've been different or wat...
But plz trust me dat i've nevr not even care abt u two at all.
Did u know dat u guys are de ones dat I'll always look forward to seeing evriday?
aft skool n all dat...and of course durin band times...
I noe...i've been acting differently n de weirdest ting i'm feelin
now is...i cant find my old-self..
I juz dont noe how to lose myself again when i see u 2...
i tink its juz dat i'm tired or wat...
but i donoe...
haizz...seriously i feel lost now...
If u tink i'm happy wif de way i am now, den dats juz not right okae...
its juz dat....
...
gosh, i donoe how to answer u guys. But, 1 thing's for sure...
I still love u 2 as b4 okay, dat nvr chg...u can trust me on dat.
i would nevr ever forget u two.
Mayb all i need is time?
to bring me back...de original bubbly, cheerful, chilli-padi me..?
okay...its true dat i'm brought down by emotions...
its keeping me down n i donoe wat i shud do to stop dis weird feeling...
I'm trying my bez to keep my smile n dat lively happiness in me.
I'm sorry if i've made de both of u feel dat i'm not me.
I promise i'll get back...
hope u understand and i am sry for causing dis...trouble? to u two...
haizz n de mentioning of de laz yr to spend wif...
haizz...please...
i would nevr ever wanna waste dis lil precious tym left wif u two.
Juz hear me out dis tym..
I nvr thot dat any of u would realise dis...change?
but no, i'm wrong... Dun worry, i nvr ever want to lose my old-self...
i noe u miss me.
okayy...frm now, i'll try my bez to be my old-self...
those laughters, smiles and de noisiness...
I'll bring dem back okayy!!
Dis self-change is juz not ryte...
i'm juz feeling plainly moody n unhappy all along,
and i juz cant find de reason why, its lyk i feel lost smehow...
I noe i miss more den my old-self,
but knowing dat u care, it makes me feel much better.
You guys are 2 of de peoples dat mattered to me de most.
i love YOU too :)
[signin off]Wadiah wadi chilli-padi/'monyet
5:00 AM
